Pregnancy and Wine

I have two younger sisters and was "conscious" during the time that my mother was pregnant with both of them.  I liked the TV show ER as a kid so I really enjoyed getting to go to the doctor with my mom and learning about pregnancy. As a kid, the pregnancy rules were pretty simple: you can't drink and you can't smoke.  As an adult everything is much more confusing. You can't have lunch meats?! You can drink wine sometimes? Women in Europe have done it for years?

The American Pregnancy Association says that "no amount of alcohol has been deemed safe during pregnancy." The concern with drinking during pregnancy is the risk of the child developing fetal alcohol syndrome or that alcohol can increase the risks of miscarriage early in a pregnancy.  However, doctors will often tell you on the DL that a glass or two, particularly later in pregnancy is fine. A blog article on Slate references a study that found 40% of OBs will advise patients that wine in later trimesters is safe in moderation and a WSJ article suggests there aren't many studies that tie moderate drinking during pregnancy to cognitive development.

I'm not advocating that women should or should not drink during pregnancy.  However, as a woman, I think it's stressful that everyone wants you to drink when you're not visibly pregnant (which is when you're not supposed to drink), to confirm you're not pregnant, and everyone doesn't want you to drink when you're visibly pregnant (when it's actually safer to drink) because that is not culturally common in the US.  What I am advocating for is that we stay out of each other's business a bit and keep an open mind to the fact that like parenting, everyone does pregnancy differently.